Wednesday, August 28, 2019

The Naughtiest Blog Post Ever...Horny Warning!

Remember when I asked you to talk dirty to me?

"Tell me what YOU like in a massage booking!" I said.

The results were inspiring!

My love for you guys got even stronger after reading your responses.


I asked you to be explicitly honest about me talking dirty to YOU.

And boy oh boy, WERE YOU EVER!

It turns out that most of you are naughty little boys who need a spanking!

I got SO turned on reading your answers.

I had to stop and masturbate THREE times!

Without further ado, the results of my TALK DIRTY TO YOU Survey!

#1. How does it make you feel when someone talks dirty to you?

  • 80% of you said “I fucking love it.” See? Naughty little boys. Come over here so I can punish you. ;)
  • 2% of you said “It makes me uncomfortable.” Okay, I respect that! If I ever make you uncomfortable, please let me know. xoxo
  • 12% of you said  "I don’t know, I’ve never experienced it." Dirty talk virgins?! Let me de-virginize you!

#2. In an erotic massage setting, when would you like the dirty talk to begin?

  • 65% of you said “Whenever it seems natural.” Makes sense!
  • 20% of you said “Right when I walk through the door.” Ooh, you're the REALLY naughty ones!
  • 10% of you said “When the massage begins.” Do you like the slick feel of hot oil on your buttocks?" (That wasn't very good, was it? I'll try harder.)
  • 5% of you said “Only during the happy ending massage.” Weirdly, you were also the guys who liked the REALLY dirty talk, like "I want you to stick your big dick in my ass." And you also knew that it was just talk and wouldn't suggest boundary crossing.

#3. What do you want me to say?

This was the part that made me come three times

Some of you told me exactly what to say...

  • "Your cock feels so hard, big throbbing, I cant wait for your cock to shoot seed, load, cum, sperm, jizz. I want your cum to cover my hands, I love the feel of hot sperm all over me."
  • "My cunt is so wet."
  • "I want you inside me."
  • "Fuck my brains out."
  • "My pussy is getting wet thinking of all the fun we could have together. Your cock looks delicious."
  • "I want to make your cock cum. Your touch makes my nipples hard. F$&@ that feels good. Keep your f$&@ing fingers there, I want to cum!"

Some of you gave me instructions... (this part made me horny too!)

  • "Be as filthy and twisted as possible."(my favourite!)
  • "Call me a bitch, tell me you own my cock and only you can have it, slap my cock/balls and tell me I'm a bad boy." (my second favourite!)
  •  "Tell me how horny you are or talk about your fantasy."
  • "Talk about how you feel. What you like about my body, how horny you are."
  • "Tell me how much you like my cock. What you wish you could do to me. How badly you want it."
  • "Use "boobs" "breasts" and "boobies" rather than "tits" or "titties" (once or twice is nice though). Use "vagina" rather than "pussy" (again, once or twice is fine though). Use "panties" and "underwear" and ask if I want to "get in your pants." Use "bra" and "top." Tell me if your vagina is wet, if your nipples are hard, and if you're about to cum so I know that I'm doing a good job at pleasing you."

Some of you wanted to emphasize that it must be real and natural...
  • "Be honest, be authentic. If you like the look of my eyes/lips/etc. say so. Don't tell me I have the biggest when I know I don't. Compliment the real, not the fake. Start slow and gauge the response. If I like the talk, I'll let you know and participate. Tell me how you feel (with some honesty). If you are getting turned on by my smell, my eyes, my other parts say so."
  • "For me the only dirty talk I like is the kind that builds me up and is not obviously being said as a lie. “Mmm I love how thick your cock is!” Would be appropriate because it’s true and it makes me feel good that you enjoy it. “Mmm you’re so muscular, you must work out!” Doesn’t fit and just seems like you’re picking ens from a script. Just be genuine and in the moment. If you don’t feel it, it’s OK not to say it."

One of  you wants to role play... 

  • "A fantasy, eg you are my aunti and I am totally want to make me hot." Oooh, that's very naughty!

Some of you want me to tell you how to touch me... (mmm, thank you)
  • "How much your body needs to be touched and when and where."
  • "What you want done to you. What you are feeling. What I am doing to make you feel that way. What you like from what you see."

#4. What's your take on dirty talk about services not offered?
  • It inflames the imagination but I know to stick to the original, agreed-upon boundaries. (51%) That's very well done, gentlemen. *claps enthusiastically*
  • I've found it confusing in the past. (30%) !!!
  • It means those services are now on the table. (14%) Wrong!

I liked this comment...

"But the provider is always right, so if she decides to take me down that road, then who am I to say “Wait! This is the forbidden fruit!” Words would not change that; only actions."  

Good to know!

#5. Do you like to talk dirty to your provider?
  • Yes 37% (Keep it coming, guys. I love it too.)
  • No 11% (That's okay! Silence during a massage is wonderful too!)
  • I would like to but have never done it before 36% (Hmmm, I'm thinking you should book with me and try it out.)

There you have it!

I asked for it and you really gave it to me!


You made my day. Maybe even my month!

This is valuable masturbation material. I hope you know how much I appreciate it.

Love you guys. XOXO


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