I apologize in advance for covering a serious topic today.
I will share later in the article the reason I feel it is necessary to write about this.
Today, I want to talk about safety between clients and sex workers.
It is an interesting dance between us, isn't it?
There are amazing clients and amazing sex workers.
And there are horrible clients and horrible sex workers.
There are many in between.
Clients worry about getting robbed or "catfished," as one potential client warned me about.
How do you know if a sex worker is being honest about what they're advertising?
Conversely, how can I know if you're going to become embarrassed or angry during our session and attack me?
The truth is, we can't really know for sure.
But there are things we can do, of course.
Screening Sex Workers
If you are worried about being "catfished" or robbed, you can do a little research before booking with a provider.
- Does their ad look professional? Is it well-worded, to-the-point, and answers the most important questions?
- Do they have a website?
- If there is a website, does it look like they have put some effort into the messaging and images?
- Do they have a social media presence? What kind of things do they post?
If my potential client had taken the time to look at the gallery on my website, he would have seen dates associated with my photos.
He would have known that I update my photos every 6-8 weeks.
By doing a little bit of research, you can get a clear picture of whether you're dealing with an established professional or not.
If you're dealing with a professional, you can reasonably assume that submitting to whatever screening process they have will be safe for you.
It makes no sense for a professional (career) sex worker to threaten your position in life (work or personal).
If our clients get outed, we lose all our business!
Some sex workers participate in the industry as a side job. They don't make a career out of it.
They might be amazing providers but do not have a huge internet presence, so clearly these rules don't always apply.
And, of course, there are sex workers who are mostly amazing but also may be a little unstable and this is a human problem that is present in every walk of life.
If they have an internet presence, you can usually get a sense of their personality.
A predator posing as a sex worker is unlikely to post a website or other ways you can find them on the Internet.
A predator is more likely to have little, if any, internet presence.
Asian Massage Parlours
A lot of my clients have expressed concern about Asian massage parlours having trafficked women working in them.
In my experience, this is NOT the case.
First of all, opening a store-front massage parlour is a whole fucking MIND-BOGGLING process.
Owners of parlours must jump through hoops most other business owners DO NOT have to jump through.
They are also monitored religiously by local police forces. Most police officers also believe Asian sex workers are trafficked.
Because this is unlikely, the police are really over-monitoring massage parlours (in my opinion).
Overzealous monitoring scares clients away and makes massage parlour workers more desperate, more likely to take less respectful clients and also more susceptible to poverty.
A massage parlour owner would be taking a huge risk to allow an underage or trafficked woman to work in their parlour.
A number of years ago, I participated in a project where we interviewed sex workers on and off street all over BC about violence and trafficking.
Part of our project involved having our questionnaire translated into Chinese and interviewing Asian massage parlour workers.
None of the interviewees claimed to be trafficked.
A huge fear they had was being arrested because their even bigger fear was being outed to their families.
Asian sex workers in massage parlours are (for the most part) just like me - they are working for a living and to support their families.
They choose the work and they lead double lives.
I've heard some clients say that the women they've met in Asian massage parlours "don't really seem into it."
I can't really speak to that because I have no idea, but I am personally acquainted with an Asian massage parlour owner. She used to do sex work herself.
She tells the providers she hires to offer quality experiences and nurture regulars.
This leads me to believe that different parlours (as well as different providers within the parlours) offer different experiences.
How can you recognize exploitation or human trafficking?
(This info is taken from The Naked Truth.)
Human trafficking or exploitation is not always obvious and sometimes difficult to identify.
There are some basic signs that we can share so you can make an assessment of the safety of the provider you are visiting:
- the worker seems too young
- the worker seems scared
- the worker has visible bruises
- the worker is tied up or otherwise seems unwilling to perform the service
- someone else collects the money on behalf of the worker
- the work location/ incall space is overly dirty or unkempt
- the worker seems overly tired
- the worker is physically assaulted in front of you
These signs may or may not be related to human trafficking or exploitation.
If you are unsure, wait until it's safe and ask the worker directly if they are alright and if they need help.
If it does not feel safe to ask the worker, the best bet is to leave and cancel the appointment.
After you leave and depending on your level of comfort, please report what you saw.
Exploitation and human trafficking have no place in our industry and make us all look bad.
There are several ways you can report which will respect your confidentiality and ensure you are not outed as a sex industry client:
- Call Crime Stoppers – it's confidential – 1-800-222-8477
- Call the Counter Exploitation Unit or your local police service – if you are comfortable – they may ask for your personal information.
- Contact ME! I am a member of The Naked Truth Support Team and we will take your report to police so your confidentiality is protected. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Above I shared some screening techniques for clients when they are looking for a professional provider.
These are not hard and fast rules but good practices for clients who are worried about what they're going to find when they arrive.
For me, it's not so easy.
Clients are reluctant to share their identity with me because of the laws and out of fear that they will be outed and lose their jobs or create strife in their marriages.
I understand why they feel this way and want to respect their need for anonymity.
After all, I don't work using my real name. I get it.
However, sex workers are easy targets for predators.
I'm being very specific with my use of the term "predator."
There are lots of clients who push boundaries but they accept no as an answer when it is given (repeatedly). I would say that these are annoying or even "shitty" clients, some of them.
But they are not predators in the sense I am talking about in this article.
I'm talking about the guys who don't respect "no."
From what I've learned from other sex workers who've been assaulted, there is sometimes a pattern.
The predator poses as a client and is respectful at first, building trust with the provider.
Then he becomes more aggressive in subsequent appointments. He may also use email or text to harass the worker after she stops seeing him.
Those are the guys that I at least have a chance with. I can refuse them in the future if I get any kind of negative vibe off them.
But there are also predators who will show up intending to rob or harm me the first time they see me.
How can I protect myself from these individuals?
Well, there are security measures I can take, of course.
Checking in with a security person, panic buttons, having a friend present in another room.
Even taking such precautions, I'd rather weed out the predators before they get inside my workspace.
This is where screening comes into play.
Until now, I have done my screening mostly by intuition, to be honest.
I am quite ruthless.
The majority of people who contact me, I don't even answer.
I won't delve into details because I do not want to teach any predators how to fool me.
And it's not always easy to catch the signs right away.
But for the most part, I have used simple screening measures (name, introduction) and intuition for screening clients in the past.
But things have changed for me.
A previous client who was very creepy in person, and I refused to see him again, has re-surfaced.
This person is more than likely a subscriber to my email list and may be reading this article right now.
He has changed emails and phone numbers since he originally contacted me and sent harassing messages.
He has inspired me to change the way I screen new clients.
I will now require a face selfie prior to a first time booking.
When new clients arrive for their massage, I will ensure they look like the photo sent before I will allow them into my space.
Also, where I have been somewhat lax in my security measures in the past, I will now be more stringent.
That does not mean new clients will be vulnerable or exposed when visiting me. Only that I have measures in place if a client becomes violent.
I know this will comfort some of my regulars who worry about me.
It means a lot that you care about my safety!
My Safety Benefits My Clients
For respectful, awesome clients; keeping sex workers safe should be a priority.
If I am assaulted, it's not just a really bad day.
It could mean the end of my profession.
Right now, I fucking LOVE my job.
Can you imagine if I was assaulted and all of a sudden my job became a source of anxiety and a threat to me?
How could I do it?
Here's a little story...
I must have done thousands of private shows when I was stripping before ONE DUDE crossed the line and assaulted me.
It was not violent. It was not invasive.
But it was unexpected. It was against the rules I had explained to him before the dance. And I felt very violated.
I never did another purely free, unbridled, sexy private dance again.
I went from loving the hustle and making mad money to taking almost a year off from doing private shows, and never feeling quite safe again.
Protecting my safety also protects my income source because it protects my love for this work.
The Moral of the Story
This has been a long (hopefully educational) and serious article.
It is the most serious blog post I've ever written for my readers.
The moral of the story is that sex workers have good reason to use screening methods to prevent predators from hurting us.
If clients are thoughtful about who they hire, they should feel comfortable sharing the info their chosen provider requires.
Clients are in a privileged position to report exploitation in the sex industry when they encounter it.
Reports can be made confidentially and sex workers want you to help keep our industry safe.
And finally, thank you to regulars and new clients who are willing to trust that I will respect their privacy and who treat me with the respect a classy woman deserves.
NOW, I have a request!
Please send me an email or text to tell me what you thought of this article.
Were you expecting something fun and the seriousness disappointed you?
Is this the kind of information that interests you?
Is there anything I missed that you wonder about relating to this topic?
I really want your feedback.
It will help me decide if I will write on serious topics occasionally in the future.
I prefer the lighthearted, sexy, naughty, boner-inducing articles... but is a serious topic once in awhile appreciated?
I want your honest opinion. I will not be offended.
In the meantime, I am thinking of many of you while I touch myself!
Thank you for making me horny! Keep sending those sexy messages!
Text or Email today!